ROAD TRIP '07: Jamboree Across America: DAY 7: In the words of Lucinda Williams, "Car wheels on a gravel road"

We arose from nights filled with dreams of country music stardom and made those dreams a reality with our first stop at the Country Music Hall of Fame. This was an incredible museum…every gaudy guitar or glittery garb ever worn by a Grammy award-winning artist was found within the walls of this institution.

The museum’s gaudiest highlight was a 24K gold Cadillac custom made for the King of Rock n’ Roll. Elvis had some pretty special taste…in true “Pimp my Ride” fashion, there was a gold-plated TV and minibar, along with yesteryear’s equivalent of an incredible sound system (an automated turn table).

Perhaps the most adorable sight to behold at this museum were the legions of country music fans who sat behind us in the short feature film about “The History of Country Music & Television.” Whether Elvis, Tennessee Ernie Williams, Jerry Lee Lewis, or Dolly Parton (circa 1967), they knew every word to every song and unashamedly belted it out for all to hear…unfortunately no Grammy award winners in this group!

The highlight of the museum visit was entry into the actual Hall of Fame where Elfie, JJDH & NJO had their photos made with their favorite country music stars (or their plaques of their favorites). We were disappointed that NJO’s plaque was not yet mounted, however the curator assured us it would be ready by the 2012 induction, after the Grammy and platinum album entitled, “The Shades of Night Were Falling Fast, but I Got a Pretty Good Look Anyway.”

We made some slight changes in the Road Trip itinerary for the day with a stop off in Lynchburg at the Jack Daniels distillery, which completes our Whiskey Trifecta, The Royal Triumvirate of Hooch Juice, the Holy Trinity of Bourbons (others being Jim Beam and Maker’s Mark). The town of Lynchburg, population 371, literally exists because of Jack Daniels. There were gift stores, restaurants, vintage cars, and t-shirt factories all bearing the insignia of ol’ Jack. This town did not, however, have road signs which led to our next adventure.

As faithful readers, you to know that one of our Road Trip ’07 rules was slightly broken yesterday. You see, we made a pledge that over the miles of terrain we’d traverse, no maps would be used in getting us to our destinations. Whilst driving through Tennessee Nothingness, we came to doubt the mirrors and began to question whether or not we were on the most direct route to Florence, Alabama. So, we stopped in the middle of the road, hooked up NJO’s computer to her Palm Treo and pulled up Mapquest. There, we said it! We used a “map”…sort of. However, we are pleased to report that we were not incorrect in our original flight plan and are also confident that another map usage transgression will not occur on Road Trip ’07 as we are comfortably approaching NJO’s old stomping grounds.

After an afternoon snack of Vienna Sausages and Diet Cokes consumed in the parking lot of the Hillbilly Market, we found ourselves in yet another of the cutest towns in America, Florence, Alabama. (pronounced “Flarnce, Albama” by Natives). We are staying at the Veranda on Walnut and think we have the most adorable innkeeper in history; he is a charmingly crotchety good ol’ boy who LOVES playing innkeep, evidenced by the fact that he gifted us with Veranda pens noting that it was so “ya’ll won’t never forget me.” We also learned at breakfast that he holds quite a bit of influence with the local city council & he used that influence to “git rid o’ those dam squirrels keep diggin’ up muh yard.”

After a brief evening of exploring the darling town, we came back to our home-away-from-home and crashed into the canopy (double) bed in preparation for our evening birthday party festivities in the Big Easy.

“Whose birthday is it?” you may be asking yourself. Well, faithful leaders, Elfie is turning 50. I know it is hard to believe based on his cherubic appearance, but according to the imprint on the Elfster’s left foot, he was born in 1957. So stay tuned, loyal readers, for a full play-by-play on tomorrow’s festivities.

CLIFFS NOTES: Hee-hawing, driving, master distilling, driving, book-on-taping, mapquesting, arriving, blogging, departing!

PICTORIAL DIARY:

Regardless of your views on the Elf trade industry, we appear to have found the fruit of Elfie's loins on Ebay. Of course, we've started the bidding off at $3.99 to try and win his children back for him.